A custom tradition of Malay wedding
involves various structural components and steps before the actual wedding
takes place. A proposal does not involve with taking down one knees or making a
statement. When both bride and groom have verbal acknowledgment towards
marriage, the wedding plans takes off from then onward starting with the man
proposing a date to meet his girlfriend's family. An important event will take
place between the man and the woman's families. Getting to meet the future
bride's family is a step to letting know that he intends to take his
girlfriend's hand into marriage. For this reason, woman will be presented with
a special ring which when one wears, indicates that she has been taken and not
available for other guys. This event is called Pre-engagement, also known to us
as 'Merisik' (mur-ree-seyk). It takes only half a day. Usually only the
immediate families of the man who will go accompany the man. They are usually
his parents, siblings, and grandfather and grandmother. Sometimes he also brings
along his uncles and aunts just to make the crowd bigger. Next, the woman's
father welcomes the man's family and do a bit of speech to the whole members of
the floor. After that, the man's father (father or uncle) will tell the woman's
family of their intention and propose a date for the engagement day. After both
party is satisfied with the date arrangement and accepts the man's intention
the man's mother will put the mentioned ring on the woman's finger. Then both families
will have meals together prepared by the woman's family. This Merisik event
often does not include the groom-to-be. They can be absent or present on
the Merisik day.
While engagement event is another process, sometime after the Merisik has taken
place. Then comes the engagement day. Usually the Malays like to celebrate this
day with beautiful dress, photos, food that sometimes can be
misunderstood as the real wedding due to the
elaborate decorations and make-ups. The idea of engagement is
not that much difference with that of Merisik. The only difference is that more
relatives are involved and the news of engagement is
spread throughout the entire nation, facebook, twitter, instagram and
other types of social media in existence. Unlike Merisik which only
known to the immediate family members of both woman and man.
Because these two processes are tedious and takes a lot of effort, money and time, alternative has been made.
Instead of having the pre-engagement and
engagement as two separates occasions, some of us combined them both into one
day. However, it has no special name for this. But I just called it the '
Merinang' (Mur-ree-nung) day. This, if Allah allows, will happen to me on my
birthday.
Hence tomorrow, me and husband-to-be will
go for a ring hunt.
The 'Ring Hunt'.
